Play & connect
A friendship check-in without a score
Six conversation prompts about communication, plans, privacy, and boundaries. No compatibility score required.
Remembering a friend's favourite food is different from knowing how they want to make plans or receive support. This exercise gives you a way to compare preferences directly. There is no result category, percentage, or pass mark.
Before starting
Ask whether your friend wants to have the conversation. Choose a private setting and allow either person to skip a topic. Each person can write a few notes first, then take turns speaking without trying to guess the “right” answer.
Speak about your own preferences. “I like a text before a call” is more useful than “You always interrupt me.” Differences do not need to disappear; the aim is to find arrangements both people freely accept.
1. Making plans
Prompt: How much notice do you like, and what is an easy way to decline?
One person may enjoy spontaneous plans while the other needs time to arrange transport or rest. A practical agreement could be to send invitations early and keep last-minute plans optional.
2. Keeping in touch
Prompt: Which kinds of messages feel easy to respond to, and when are you usually unavailable?
Do not turn a preference into a response deadline. You might agree that routine messages need no immediate reply and that a missed call can be followed by a short explanation of what it was about.
3. Asking for support
Prompt: When you tell me about a difficult day, do you usually want listening, suggestions, distraction, or something else?
The answer can change with the situation. A useful follow-up in the moment is, “Would you like me to listen or help you think through options?” Neither friend has to be available for every conversation.
4. Privacy
Prompt: What should we check before sharing a photo, screenshot, or story involving each other?
Be specific about group chats and social posts. Permission to tell one person is not automatically permission to publish. For this game's results, ask before sharing a screenshot with another person's name.
5. Budget and energy
Prompt: What kinds of plans feel manageable right now?
Offer an option that does not require spending money or a long trip. Someone can prefer a short walk or a quiet chat without needing to explain their finances or health.
6. Repairing a misunderstanding
Prompt: If one of us feels hurt, how would we like to bring it up?
Try one concrete example: “When the plan changed and I did not hear, I waited outside. Could we message the group next time?” Leave room for the other person's account of what happened.
Finish with one small agreement
Choose one change you both want to try. Write it in plain language, such as “Ask before posting each other's photos.” Avoid making a long contract or collecting promises that one person does not want to make.
After a future hangout, you can ask whether the change helped. It is fine to adjust an arrangement when circumstances change. No answer here proves that someone is a good or bad friend, and the exercise is not professional relationship advice.
Where the guessing game fits
The online quiz compares a friend's guesses with ten saved choices. It does not measure the preferences discussed here or calculate friendship compatibility. Use it when you want a light game; use these prompts when you both want a conversation.
For a casual gathering, see the group-game guide. For friends in different places, try the long-distance catch-up plan.